How is it different from “just “ thinking?
What makes being in a Thinking Session different from “just” thinking?
Do you want something to change but can’t see how to make that happen? Do you find yourself going around in circles as you try to figure out what to do?
Maybe you know what you want to do but you can’t seem to make a start. Something is stopping you from taking the first step, from making that first move.
I’d like to share with you what can make a difference, and free you up to make the change, to take the first step. I’ve discovered the magic that can happen in a Thinking Session, when you figure out what to do and feel energised and confident about doing it.
Why does being in a Thinking Session make a difference?
When people ask me what a Thinking Session is like, sometimes they’ll say they already think well on their own. But then they add that there are times they think a lot, but it doesn’t seem to get them anywhere. Have you found yourself thinking about something over and over, frustrated because you can’t see a way forward?
I understand that. I’ve been there. When I learned how to think things through in a different way, I was amazed at the way it unlocked fresh thinking, and how it gave me the confidence to proceed.
After I experienced the magic of what can happen in a Thinking Environment, I decided to train to be a Time to Think Coach, so that I could give others the opportunity to discover their own truth. Would you like to think more clearly about something, and find the courage to follow your own path?
How does it work?
In a Thinking Session, you’ll think about whatever you choose to focus on. The quality of my attention and the questions I offer you will help you pinpoint the issue or problem you’re faced with, will help you explore your feelings about it and map out what you can do about it.
How is thinking in this way different from “just” thinking ?
Have you noticed what happens when you’re interrupted as you’re trying to think something through? You lose focus, you lose your train of thought. Even if you can resume after the interruption, the quality of your thinking will have been impaired.
Often, the distractions that hinder us are external, they’re beyond our control. But there are also times when we distract ourselves to avoid thinking about something. It might seem difficult to tackle. Do you find yourself avoiding issues that are daunting? Unfortunately, avoiding the issue or problem can increase the feeling that you’re stuck that you’re powerless inthe situation.
When you commit to a Thinking Session, you’re choosing to set aside dedicated time to think, free from interruption or distraction. You’re giving yourself the chance to think well, in a safe, encouraging and non-judgemental space.
Knowing that you won’t be interrupted creates a sense of ease and calm that will enable you go to the edge of your thinking. What happens in your brain in this psychologically safe environment is borne out by neuroscience. In “The Promise that Changes Everything: I Won’t Interrupt You” (2021 p.33 ), Nancy Kline explains how being in the presence of a thinking partner’s unwavering appreciative attention helps to calm the brain’s amygdala, so that stress hormones adrenaline and cortisol are kept at bay, which enables clearer thinking and better decision-making.
What do you get when you think well for yourself, in a Thinking Session?
Clarity:
When you’re faced with a problem or want something to change, it’s worth thinking through what outcome you hope for, what question you’re hoping to answer for yourself. You may discover there is something else hidden beneath what initially appears as the problem. You might be surprised to find that something else is impacting on what’s concerning you. What appeared at first as the issue may be linked to something else that needs your attention.
Discover your own answers:
We’ve all been in situations where others offer us advice, as we try to make sense of what we’re dealing with. It can be tempting to listen to them, especially if you can’t see a way forward and someone else appears to know all about what you’re facing.
While others may have useful information to offer, it’s important not to confuse the information they’re offering with being influenced by their opinions. Give yourself the time to explore your own thinking, as opposed to taking on what someone else thinks.
In order to find your own answers, explore what you already know and consider what information you need that could help you. It can be useful after you receive input from someone else, to be given the chance to think afresh for yourself, to be asked “having heard that, what do you think now?”
When you notice that everyone around you is telling you what to do, it’d important to give yourself the chance to really think for yourself, to discover your own answers.
Own your thinking, Own your destiny:
Sometimes we say the things we need to hear. When you express yourself in a Thinking Session, you may hear yourself say things you didn’t realise you were thinking or feeling. You may realise things you hadn’t noticed before. That can help you see what needs to be done. New possibilities may be revealed.
In the calm spaciousness of a Thinking Session, not only does the quality of your thinking improve, but you can also build the confidence to do what needs to be done.
Knowing your own mind will not only lead to better decision-making, it will also increase the likelihood that you’ll follow through on it and make it real.
When you own the thinking, it can empower you to own what comes next.
Questioning assumptions:
Assumptions are all around us. When they’re true, they can serve us well. But problems can arise if we base a decision on something we’ve assumed that isn’t true. In a Thinking Session, you can explore your assumptions and check what might be untrue and limiting you. My incisive questioning can help you get to the heart of an untrue assumption, and breakthrough to unlock fresher thinking and allow new ideas to emerge.
Information:
Have you ever made a decision and then discovered afterwards that you were missing information that would have led to a different outcome? Or that your decision was based on information that was flawed or inaccurate. Thinking well will help you identify what information you already have, and what information you need, and help you see what’s true and accurate.
What is the magic of what can happen in a Thinking Session?
For me, the feeling of “magic” occurs as a thinker discovers their own answers, as they see opportunities, as the impossible suddenly appears possible.
I’ve seen someone’s eyes light up when they realise they know what needs to be done, when they understand what they’ve been feeling and what they want to do about it.
I’ve seen a thinker becoming energised as they look forward to taking the next step.
This magic happens in a Thinking Environment, when you can think in the presence of attention that is exquisitely generative. While it feels magical, there is some real science behind it; the science of what happens when we’re given a safe space, when we‘re truly encouraged, when we’re being listened to with interest and appreciation.
I think of it as magical. And it’s also very real.
Talk to me if you’re interested in discovering how this can happen for you in a Coaching Session, or if you’d like to learn how to listen in this way and create a Thinking Environment for others
